'Outstanding'

As you probably know my 'day' job is working for Adult Education in Gloucestershire delivering sewing classes to groups of vulnerable learners during the day and recreational learners in the evening.

Adult Ed. is funded by the Government so comes under the remit of the OFSTED...

That very word puts fear into teachers up and down the UK. They send in teams of Her Majesties Inspectors (HMI) to check that the standard of teaching is up to their guidelines - they check everyone one nurseries to Adult Ed...

They can have access to any class that is running and move in and out classes at will... they are pretty daunting! It is never great when a HMI is standing at your door! My heart sinks...

So yesterday evening there stood at my classroom door was a HMI. I had to be fair been warned that he might be coming, which is kinda worse because you have more time to worry!

He introduced himself and said he was staying 40 minutes to observe the class and my teaching... oh joy!

I started the class in my usual way. I have had been through 5/6 visits from HMI in my career teaching and Childminding. The best way to cope is to hand over your paperwork and get on with the job..... whilst trying to ignore their presence! (Kinda like the Silence from Dr Who - if you aren't looking directly at them you can ignore them!)

All was going to plan and everyone was chatting, working and I was teaching people different things as they completed the tasks...

After 20 minutes he said 'Anna can I have a word outside please. She might come back in crying everyone.'

20 Minutes??? 20 minutes??? oh **** what have a done wrong.... A small snip it  my thoughts as I wandered slowly towards the door. These guys hold your teaching career in their hands...

He started by asking me about who assesses my paperwork and then what grading I usually get... so I told him and said usually a 'good' with some elements of 'outstanding'... He kept me in suspense wondering if he was going to say that I should be graded 'needs improvement'.

Then he said "That is an outstanding lesson and you are clearly an outstanding tutor!!!"

I think I actually started breathing again at that point!

He went on to say I am good at tracking my learners achievements, I offer encouragement, I create a relaxed atmosphere and my learners are clearly making great progress, and enjoying themselves too! My paperwork is brilliant and I should be proud of my classes...

I almost fell over with relief!

So I can officially say I am an 'Outstanding' tutor and not be bragging too much - it is a fact!

Making it all work....

Life has been a roller coaster here over the last few weeks...

My lovely big boy is turning into a hormonal mess at 10 and is struggling going between houses. A change in routine should help, but I am kind of mourning the loss of my boy and nervously welcoming the 'teenage' years...

It has occurred to me more than once life is passing by very fast and am I doing the right thing?

Am I raising my boys to be best they can be?

Every parent faces this dilemma. Everyone one of us is trying our best to give out babies the best - even when they are 24!

I work long hours preparing for classes so I can be the best, but I try really hard to fit that work into bedtime or times the boys are occupied. I teach mostly during the school day and try to fit everything to school plus breakfast club and after school care...

I want to lift us off the benefits system that hangs like a cloud over my head....

But this is bloody hard work... and I have no-one to turn to of an evening and say "Help, did I do this right?" " Are my boys doing OK?" " Am I screwing this up?"

I could pack it all in... Just sink back into the cushion that is income support and stay at home with the kids... I could wear pj's and watch TV all day...

But I feel that is the wrong example to set... I feel that getting up, dusting myself down and building a career, first in bag making and now in teaching is a good role model for my boys. It teaches them that no matter what life throws at us - and believe it has thrown some real curve balls - we rise up and fight on...

Yesterday I had my first unannounced observation whilst tutoring a group. In essence someone turns up without warning and sits in the corner of the class and watches you..... listens to your questioning technique, how you engage the group, your paperwork, you.... they aren't judging, they are seeing if you need support in your teaching - OK they are judging you!

It is nerve wracking....

But today I learnt the reason I do get up and get out:

I am bloody good at what I do!

There I blew my own trumpet - pretty rare for me if you know me. Not good at taking compliments, ask my friends Liz and Helen!

I got goods and outstanding, which means I am doing a fabulous job.

So, this brought me on my long drive home back to the question of whether or not I am doing the right thing... is this feeling of pride OK to feel? I feel pride for my boys achievements everyday, but is it OK to be chuffed with myself? Can I show my pride to my boys?

I am like all working mothers. I wrestle everyday with the need to be me and create my place in the world versus the needs of my children. Do I let them down?

Today, I don't think so. I think I have decided today that I can't expect them to grow into men who have self worth and pride if I don't demonstrate it. I can't expect them to have a strong work ethic, if I don't demonstrate getting up and going even when we have a stinking cold and bed is calling.

I can't expect them to bounce back from the curve balls their lives are going to throw them, if I don't demonstrate how mummy did/ does that everyday.

Just like my Cubs this week on a night time trail, I have to lead from the front and help them to follow. I have to point out the hazards and help them to sort through them.

To do that I need to do what I love and be myself. I love teaching, I love bouncing round and getting people to chat and sew. I love seeing people achieve things they never thought was possible.

I don't know if I am doing the right thing... only time will tell me that, but I know I can't go far wrong teaching them the life skills they need by demonstrating them, even if sometime I am grimacing through the stress of life.....