Sunday, 14 October 2012

Lessons learnt

This weekend has been a relatively chilled out weekend... we have tidied the house, wandered into town, had a friend for, been to rugby practice and visited Newark Park to munch ice cream at the Love Food Festival - a must for foodies!

But it is a weekend I feel I have reached a turning point with my boys....

Yesterday did not start well. My ability to cope with the general mess and clutter of 3 boys was blown apart by a pair of dirty pants in the middle of the living room floor surrounded by toys, plates and general guff. Mummy didn't blow sky high, but did put start questioning why exactly they thought it was ok to do that!

There followed a discussion (albeit one sided) about how hard mummy works, how mummy runs 2 Scout groups, takes them to loads of things - Legoland and the Paralympics this year - and she needs help! Mummy needs help to tidy, mummy needs help to keep the place looking nice so our friends can come round and mummy doesn't die of shame..

Mummy can't do everything by herself... and mummy isn't asking them to wipe their wee off the bathroom floor, or cook dinner... mummy just wants them to help tidy up and put things away.. mummy just needs help... please....

So with loud music on and frequent food breaks we tackled the living room and hall... we dusted, hoovered and sorted things for the charity shop... we now have a kinda tidy and sorted house - just open the cupboards in the hall!

Obviously my immediate thought is, Great I love them to pieces, but I will be having the same conversation in 2 weeks...

Until this morning... I asked for them to sort their room before Rugby, they did without complaining...

Then this afternoon driving home from Newark Park midi piped up in the back:

"Mummy, everyone we know have a mummy and daddy and they do the things we do, but you have to work much hard because you don't have a daddy to help you. Mummy thank you for working so hard for us."

I almost crashed the car! Then he said:

"I understand that we need to help you at home so you can work and take us out to places. Mummy you are the best mummy ever because you do all that without a daddy to help you. I love you"

Mini then contributed:

"Yeah mummy, we love you. We help you more so you can go to work and buy us presents...."

They are 6 and 4, and it is a small victory, but it is a victory.

The drive home is 20 minutes and they spent the whole 20 minutes telling me how they are going to help. Telling me that they know I am special..

Small words, but major thoughts... thoughts that have been thought about for a whole night...

They may not last, but the corner we have turned has now be turned...

And mummy's heart swelled with pride and a few tears were shed on the drive home.....


  1. I first read this post on my phone and promptly burst into tears. I have been meaning to find five minutes to comment ever since.

    With three children (6,3 and 2) I have been that mummy too, stood in the middle of the debris begging my children to help. Not just pick up the lego but save my sanity!

    My husband is at home but travels (a lot) with his work and sometimes it all feels a little insurmountable.

    You are an inspiration. Not just the success you have made of your crafting business but that you have made of bringing up your boys.


  2. Thank you.

    It is bloody hard work! I have been there with a husband who worked away constantly. It isn't easy

    Sorry I made you cry! I hope some of the other posts make you smile!